Inspiration in the form of a plush rhino

We are pleased to inform you...

"We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of Texas at Austin. It is recommended that you contact your graduate adviser as soon as possible. It is a pleasure to welcome you as a graduate student. "

Translation:

"We are annoyed to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of Texas at Austin. To be honest, we wanted to reject you, but you had strong recommendations from two well-respected faculty members, and no one wanted to have to deal with their questions. We're only telling you to contact your academic advisor out of obligation, because we'd love it if you didn't, and we didn't have to hold a space for you. For crying out loud, you graduated in May--why are we having to welcome you again?"

Hee.

posted by K @ 9:46 PM