Easy street.
I'm terrified that I took the easy way out.
I can justify my choices regarding employment after graduation all day long. I loved the people that I interviewed with, I loved everyone from the department, I loved the agency, the account, the opportunity, the fact that they loved me.
I'm getting wonderful experience. I learn something new every day. I become better at things I already knew how to do every day. I am proficient. I have skills that I will use for the rest of my career. My co-workers are wonderful. I have great perks.
I may live in Dallas, but I'm near some very close friends, from both high school and college. I'm near family. I like my life. I enjoy each day.
And up until today, I thought that I was glad I went this route. That I stayed in Texas. That I came to Dallas instead of taking a chance and moving to Chicago sans job. That Chicago would be there in a year. That I wouldn't regret spending time in Dallas.
And today, I heard news about an old friend. An old friend who moved to Chicago recently to pursue her dream of being an art director.
She did what I wanted to do. What I thought I wanted to do. What, when it comes down to it, I'm terrified that I didn't do for all of the wrong reasons.
I told myself that I didn't go because of everything I said in the beginning of this entry. The job. The people. The experience.
Now I'm afraid that I didn't go because I was scared.
I had a place to live--for free.
I had contacts.
I had people that wanted to hire me.
I had ambition. I fell in love with the city. I wanted to go.
So why didn't I? Why am I sitting in Dallas, painfully sad that I'm not the one in Chicago talking about how much I love it and doing what I really wanted to do?
I'm not one for regrets, but this is coming very close.
I just hope that in a year, I do it. I leave Texas, and I go somewhere new, and I take a chance. Because it's time to be brave, and it's time to be scared, and it's time to go through with it.
Coming out of my cage
and I'm doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
because I want it all.
posted by K @ 6:03 PM
1 Comments:
No regrets. No such thing. You made the right decision, and you know, because if you'd made the wrong decision guilt and remorse would wrack you day-to-day, all day long, everyday. The first year of your professional life is immaterial anyway. Doesn't matter where you work as long as you work. You've nothing to regret there, because when you make the next decision, maybe one that's not as easy, that will be the right one too. The next decision is the first decision of the rest of your life.
If you made wrong choices, no way would you be where you are now.
-t
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