I'm getting too old for this stuff.
Following is the email that I sent several of my friends this morning when I got to work:
I realize I said this after the wine/champagne incident of July.
However, I mean it this time. Last night was no bueno. See the following list of reasons:
1) You should never mix tequila, vodka, and pinot grigio
2) I don't remember driving home after Iris (or wherever the hell we were), but my car was in my parking lot this morning. This is disturbing on so many levels. I'm not sure how I thought I got home, but there's really no logic behind a drunk person's thinking.
3) When you make out with someone in a parking lot, you probably shouldn't a) expect them to remember your name, or b) be insulted when they don't.
4) I have got to stop documenting these nights of mayhem. Seriously-I might run for political office one day, and y'all are going to kill my campaign with this stuff!
5) The taste that I had in my mouth when I woke up at 5:30 AM (for no reason) was enough to make me want to die. Twice. Because I'm pretty sure I died last night already.
Do you know what I did? I got to my apartment at 10:30. I sat on the couch. I watched a little TV. I started to upload pictures. Then, the room began to spin, my stomach began to turn, and it was all downhill from there.
Jenn, go ahead and eat those sour cream chicken enchiladas that I left in your fridge. I never want to see, smell, or taste a sour cream chicken enchilada again. EVER. I puked. Multiple times. Then I brushed my teeth, did a load of laundry, and went to sleep. My life is an episode of Desperate Housewives. I'm the worst drunk ever-who the hell pukes and then does laundry before they pass out? In all seriousness, I'm beginning to think that I should stop eating sour cream chicken enchiladas while drinking-the only other time that I've puked (since age 6) came the day that I ate those for lunch. Then last night.
I'm telling you, there's something to this theory.
posted by K @ 8:15 AM
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