Beer before liquor.
Didn't we learn the lesson never to guzzle beer before hard liquor during our freshman year of college? Am i incapable of remembering anything that I learned during my freshman year of college?
And why didn't anyone remind me of this rule last night?
I hit Bennigan's with a few high school friends at 9 PM. 9-fucking-PM. Way too early for it to be a quality drinking night, so I assumed we'd have a couple, then head home at midnight.
Well.
We arrived and discovered that they had Paulaner Hefeweizen on tap. How cool is that? Seeing as Paulaner is the favorite beer of all 3 of us who were there last night, we had to drink that. And we probably would have all night.
After I had finished off #4 (Sean and Randy were ahead of me with #6 and #5, respectively), the server swung by and asked if we'd like another round. We all nodded (they nodded, I don't recall nodding, but since I'd had 4 and was feeling quite good, it's entirely possible).
After being amazed at the fact that I was actually drunk after 4 beers (the guys found this hilarious and pathetic), I mused that perhaps it was a good idea that I hadn't driven after 3 beers while I was in Austin a few weeks prior.
Then the server came back.
"I have to change out the keg on the Paulaner, so it'll be just a few minutes."
No problem. At some point during all of this, Sean's cousin and the cousin's friend had arrived, and we were cramming six people into a booth clearly made for four. This is when chaos ensued.
The server came back again.
"Uh, guys, bad news. You've basically singlehandedly killed my entire supply of Paulaner. Can I get you something else?"
The three of us looked at each other in relative shock. And then ordered alternate drinks.
I made the mistake of ordering a Cape Cod after 4 beers. Never again will I do this. When I got the drink, it was a very pale pink. I looked at Sean and said "Man, that's a lot of vodka and not a lot of cranberry." He concurred.
Then I took a sip, and it tasted fine. I was really drunk.
The rest of the night passed with that drink, another of the same, and a Red Snapper with a toast led by myself--"Here's to sleeping triple, seeing double, living single, and testing negative." Also, with me smoking two Camel Turkish Silvers, which was a decidedly bad plan. Because a) I don't smoke very often anymore, and b) I smoke Marlboro Lights, not Camel Turkish Silvers when I do.
And we were there until last call. Holy shit. Also, have you ever seen drunk people try to do math? Because it was pathetic. Then we couldn't get the pen to work. Also pathetic. I just pray that we left the guy a big enough tip, because we had to have been a nightmare.
I woke up this morning at 8 AM because my parents needed me to move my car (this marks the first time I've been absolutely wasted at my parents' house), and I was hovering somewhere between still drunk and hungover, with characteristics of both. My mother was about to go through my purse to get my keys and do it herself, which prompted me to launch myself across the room to get the purse.
See, someone gave me a sample sized thing of cinnamon lube last week as a joke, and it was still in my purse. Which is where I moved it to from the car because I drove last night when my dad and I went to pick up dinner.
I choked down advil and water and then slept for three hours. After some caffeine and a piece of pizza, I'm finally starting to feel human again.
And tomorrow night? Definitely playing it low-key.
posted by K @ 9:37 AM
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